find joy and safety in glimmer-hunting this January

Glimmers were coined by psychotherapist Deb Dana, who specialises in trauma and polyvagal theory. She describes them as the opposite of triggers. While triggers activate your threat response and move you into dysregulation - which might look like a racing heart, spiralling thoughts, the feeling of being overwhelmed or numb - glimmers do the opposite. They're micro-moments that tell your nervous system, ‘You're safe, all is well here’. A glimmer might be something as simple as the smell of coffee brewing, sunlight filtering through your window, your dog's tail wagging when you walk in, a stranger's genuine smile, the first sip of something warm, birdsong in the morning or that moment when a song you love comes on. Glimmers aren't big, dramatic moments; they're blink-and-you 'll-miss-it snippets of your day. Tiny pockets of ease, joy, safety or connection. The negativity bias can mean that our nervous system is too busy scanning for threats to register these cues of safety, and glimmers constantly float past us unnoticed.

I am a busy Mum of a three-year-old, and I have a new baby on the way. This pregnancy has placed many demands on my body and mind, and at times, I could easily fall into my own little negativity biases, but I try to intentionally seize the small windows of opportunity I have for glimmers. An example of this is every Tuesday after I drop my little one off at nursery, I make myself a coffee as soon as I get home. I slow down and take the time to smell the coffee beans, the hot aroma and the feeling of the warm cup in my hand. For me, this is a simple regulating reset. The moment I hang out inside this glimmer, something shifts. My shoulders drop. There’s a warm, fuzzy sensation in my chest. A smile spread across my face without me even intentionally smiling. That coffee signals to me: you're home. You're safe. This little ritual has become a reliable cue that helps my nervous system shift states. Now, even on the hardest days, when I'm dysregulated, overwhelmed, stuck in my head, that coffee ritual reminds my body: we know this feeling. This is safety. We can settle here.

When you're constantly in survival mode, your nervous system forgets what it feels like to have the brake on and the pathways to safety and calm become less travelled. This is where glimmer hunting becomes so powerful. When you actively notice glimmers and take them in, you're essentially sending a signal to your nervous system that says, "We're safe here. You can take your foot off the accelerator now. We can settle."

Doing this repeatedly helps create new, more intentional habits that show your nervous system that you’re safe, and those neural pathways to safety get stronger. Your nervous system becomes more flexible, more able to shift from that stressed, activated state back to calm after being triggered. By actively searching for glimmers, you're not trying to avoid difficult emotions or pretend everything's fine; you're building capacity. You're teaching your system that safety exists alongside the hard stuff that life throws your way.

The great thing about glimmer hunting is that it’s a free and deceptively simple tool. But simple doesn't mean easy, especially when your nervous system has been stuck in survival mode for a long time. Here’s where to start:

set your intention

Before you can hunt glimmers, you need to tell your brain what you're looking for. Our attention goes where we direct it. So set a simple intention: "Today, I'm going to notice moments of ease, safety, or joy." Just that small shift in awareness begins to retrain your focus.

start small

Don't put pressure on yourself to find profound, life-changing moments. The power of glimmers is in their ordinariness. Your first glimmer might be, "My coffee tastes good." Or "The chair I'm sitting on is comfortable." These tiny observations matter. They're teaching your nervous system to register safety cues that have been there all along.

use your senses

Going on ‘glimmer walks’ where my only job is to experience sensory sensations that feel good or neutral is a good way to start engaging your senses. You might observe the crunch of leaves, the way light hits a building, the smell of someone's garden or the warmth of the sun on your face.

pause and savour

This is the crucial bit that most people miss. When you notice a glimmer, don't just mentally tick it off; stop and really take it in. Here, notice what happens in your body. Does your breath deepen? Do your shoulders drop? Is there a warmth or tingling somewhere? What emotions are present? This is how you grow a glimmer into a glow. By giving it space and attention, you allow that parasympathetic activation to spread through your system. You're literally strengthening those neural pathways to safety.

keep a glimmer log

Writing down 1-4 glimmers each day does something powerful. It trains your brain to actively look for them throughout your day. And when you're having a rubbish day, you can look back and see that there have been moments of ‘okay-ness’. Your log doesn't need to be fancy. Just jot them down, this can look like. "Made my bed and it looked cosy," "Colleague smiled at me in the corridor" or "Cat did that slow blink thing".

The more you practice, the more your nervous system learns to register these cues automatically.

Some days, glimmers feel completely out of reach. You might be shut down, numb, dissociated. Or you might be so activated that everything feels threatening. On those days, it's okay to go smaller. Can you find one thing in your environment that's neutral? Not good, not bad, just... there? The pen on your desk. The colour of the wall. The sensation of your feet on the ground. Sometimes the glimmer is simply: "I'm here. I'm breathing. This moment is survivable."

And if you've got a complex trauma background, glimmers might initially feel unsafe. Your system might not trust pleasant feelings because historically, letting your guard down wasn't safe. The other shoe always dropped. If that's you, please be gentle with yourself. You're teaching your nervous system something brand new. Start with barely-there glimmers. A flicker of "less bad." A micro-moment of "okay." Build it up slowly and pace yourself gently. You can always speak to a psychotherapist who can help you to build this practice.